If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
