Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
