I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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