google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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