whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Found the puke drawer
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
