so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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