you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
