If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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