THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
