I met the friendliest cop last night
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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