I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Brb crying the tears of my youth
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
