ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
