so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize