if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
