remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have already put on my inside pants.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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