Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
