Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
