C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
