he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
