Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
