What did we do last night that was yellow?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Randomize
