you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have aggressive nipples.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
