is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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