Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
