508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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