Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
