Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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