just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize