and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
