you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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