Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
