Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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