Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
last night I used snow as a chaser
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
