just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
