On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
