never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
