If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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