You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
