Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
