i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
