Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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