so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
