Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Are we still banned from the library?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize