"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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