I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
