You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
