I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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