I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I see more hoeing in ur future
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