sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
