Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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