Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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