GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
