I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
