Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
