You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he shaved USA in his pubs
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
