You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
