Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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