Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
