She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
