I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
