what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
