Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We got so high we made milksteak
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
