I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Shitshow foam night was such a success
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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