I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize