I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
