at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Is it because I queefed?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The Olympian is in my bed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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