We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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