Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
