i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
