i just made my gag reflex go away.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
