Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
