you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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