You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize