Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
