Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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