So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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