my phone needs a breathalizer
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
