feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
