so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
